snow day and stuff

so mostly pictures. I took Abbie to the park one day lats week. I think she had fun.

and I made this today while she's napping. A tote for my knitting needles/crochet hooks. It folds over and rolls up. I'd seen something similar in a store for 30 or 40 bucks and it wouldn't hold so many needles!

words

I got let go a week ago and it's been really quiet. I used to be surrounded by words, words on the computer monitor I looked at all day, words coming through the headset I wore, words from the girls next to me, the people in the next cube, down the hall, from the office I sat next to, words from the three radio's I could hear, sometimes more. Sometimes I thought I would scream if I had to hear another word, and I would come home to my 4 year old, SHE'S A FOUNTAIN OF WORDS, my husband always had some words not many but words, words none the less. Words from the tv, words from the occasional phone call. More words than I needed.

Now, almost no words. The only words I hear most of the day now come from the tv. I thought I could use a little peace and quiet, but I find that it's MUCH too quiet. Not sure I want to go back to all the words I heard a week or so ago that was too much, but this is too much quiet that's for dang sure.

let go

Well yesterday I got let go, I don't think I've ever been fired from a real job before. IT SUCKS completely and totally. And then I look at Abbie and I REALLY feel bad. If something even worse happens Rick and I will understand. If we turn off our cable we'll get why we can't watch our shows but she'll just be confused, no more ice cream or eating out no problem, but she' s not going to get it.

I'm pissed off and disappointed and discouraged and scared. I get that things are bad everywhere, but I know in every company across the country that is letting people go there are people who aren't being affected in the least. Their pay hasn't changed and won't change, they may work harder for it, but whatever. Someone told me they feel sorry for the ones who had to do the telling, not me THEY STILL HAVE A JOB. While I was packing my box one of the guys watching said to the other, man is this day over yet. SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!! Yea, it was over for me and it wasn't even lunch time.

k, that's enough bitterness for now.


one last thing, how much does it suck that NOT ONLY IS IT THE WEEK WE ARE OUT OF EVERYTHING (toilet paper, soap, shampoo, food, laundry soap etc) BUT THAT I've been so responsible lately buying only clothes I can wear to work that I only have 1 pair of jeans I can wear now that I have days to wear them!

look what I did :)

SO I have more then one post with this title, but here's the latest. I'm also including a link to some pictures of holiday stuff. Cookie decorating, snow, Christmas, doll house.

Hope everyone is doing GREAT.

here's what I did. Just took me a week
the first picture is before and the second two are after













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link to holiday pictures
http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLanding.action?c=9715l27e.2eea3mba&x=0&h=1&y=-wuccsh&localeid=en_US

used to could

Did you ever do something you were good at that you stopped, and then you actually missed it? Lots of people danced, or played soccer or baseball or something like that. Lots of people can be good at those things. But was there ever something you used to do that not everyone could do? and for what ever reason you stopped only to regret stopping later, but you don't know how to start again? Listen to these boys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iajdUlQRgIc

I used to could do that. Well not quite that low, or quite that high, but really, honestly I used to could do that. I still could I just don't know quite how or where. but I used to could

What was your Thanksgiving desert?

Here's what Abbie had

Ok, we had pie too, but we managed to get a fire going and toasted marshmallows. She doesn't like the black ones.

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving and have lots of things to be thankful for.

Here are some of mine
Abbie
my family
my job, because we all need one right now
my marriage
my home
my friends
there's so much I could list, but this year just the basics are enough. We had food for Thanksgiving, more than we needed, Rick, Abbie and I spent it together and we are all healthy.

birthday

We always take pictures of Abbie with each of us for her birthday, which means then we have a picture of Rick on his birthday but we never did on my birthday. So this year, a picture.

And one she took of me and Rick.

don't mind the mess

screw the socks

So yesterday I asked Abbie if we could go through the socks in her drawer and get rid of the ones that itch. Not would you wear socks, you have to wear socks, and these are the socks you have to wear, butlet’s just get rid of them to make room for more stuff. She said sure mommy. So we sorted the socks into piles of like socks, she actually tried some on and found 2 pairs she could stand to wear and wanted to leave some on. WONDERFUL I thought. So she went to a friends to play, she said after an hour or so she asked if she could take her socks off and they NEVER went back on. Ok, no sweat I’m not pushing. Well as I was going to bed last night I heard her screaming and crying in her sleep. I went in to see what was going on and she was clawing at her ankles trying to get off some socks that she wasn’t even wearing shaking her head back and forth saying no, no, no. I told Rick NO MORE SOCKS I’m not even asking or buying or anything. They can go on ebay or craigslist or the trash for all I care, but not on her.

Anyone need some socks?

history

This is a picture of my grandma, my mothers mother, Jean. Yes that date is 1929. I am assuming that the arm peaking out is her mother Ester. We've spent some time recently looking through old pictures, this is not even close to the oldest one, we have pictures of my great-great grandma as a young woman, Mom Dueser was born in 1887. So like I said this isn't the oldest picture. I think it struck me because I'm pretty sure that the chair my grandma is sitting in is sitting in my mothers entry way right this very second. I hear people talk all the time about what they want, the silver, the china, the money the art, the stuff. For me it's things like this picture, and all I have is the scan. Now when I walk past that chair I will see my grandma sitting there just like in this picture. So for me the pictures, that's what I want. Even more than that I'd love to know who's in them. So my new project, other than getting them printed and in albums, is to put names and maybe even stories to every picture in my computer. And the little old things, I've got a ring that was my great great grandma's and when I think about the things it's been through and the strength of the hands that wore it, I feel stronger like I can do more than I could without it.

We were looking at old things at my grandmas one night and she pulled out some tiny old things. One of which was a button hook, you know like you used to button up shoes in the days when women wore high button up shoes. At first I thought it was bakelite, but it's older than bakelite, they thought it was tortoise shell. And it was my great great grandma's mothers they thought, and they think perhaps she got it from someone she worked for. How many hands, buttons shoes, mornings and dreams. It was warm when I held it in my hand like it held the warmth from all of them.

by the way, want to see more?

http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLanding.action?c=9715l27e.atz1f5gu&x=0&h=1&y=-vlmsgu&localeid=en_US

voting

So I took Abbie with me to vote this morning. We were there about an hour and as we left she said to me, wow all that for a sticker! I'd explained to her in the car what I was going to do so she kept asking me to explain again in the line what we were doing. Lots of standing and waiting, lots of explaining. There was someone in line a couple people ahead of me who wanted to know if there was anyone who could explain what was on the ballot, like she didn't understand what she was voting for.

I guess everyone gets a sticker right?

on a side note, there was boy there TALLER THAN ABBIE with a paci in his mouth. I can't even tell you how glad I am we kicked that habit!

don't laugh

or disown me or what ever, but we can't start a fire. We can start one in our gas fire place in the living room. That's easy, well so long as it's lit, then we just flip a switch. But not in the fire pit in the back yard. We had some Lowes gift cards and the thing we had them for wasn't as much as I thought it would be, so we got a fire pit. I've wanted one FOR EVER so we got it. WASTE. Ok, so it's just the first night, I'm sure we'll figure it out. We had a difference of opinion. One thought to put some paper and stuff in a pile and then stack the wood around it like a tepee, the other to smash as much paper as possible in a pile and then smash wood on top of it and surround with paper and light. I kept my mouth shut. Neither worked. I don't think the first one got enough of a chance, the other not such a great idea? Who the heck knows. Now we live in the country, this is something we should be able to do.

My family can start a roaring 5 alarm blaze with 1/2 a wet match and a wet noodle. I fondly remember Christmas around the table with candles and fresh pine and snap crackle popping. Then I could start a fire, now not so much.

All we wanted was toasted marshmallows.

look what I did :)

It's not Halloween yet, but I had to share

have you seen seamless socks

Yes I'm serious. I need to find some for Abbie. I hate socks, really I do, but when it's cold I'll wear them. So will she, but only after we force her and there's lots of crying from both of us, and I don't think they stay on very long. The seams itch her. So I googled seamless socks, I found them, but they are 3 bucks a pair. Now I love her and I want her to have warm shoes, but at 3 bucks a pair that's insane for socks. I don't spend that much on socks for me, even the cute ones, I wait until they are out of season and buy my Christmas socks at Easter.

Anyway, have you seen any?

quickie

We have music with our cable, channels and channels of music. Abbie sleeps in my room when Rick is out of town and she listens to the "tv music" I usually put it on classical or light classical or something like that. Well Saturday I heard her saying something and figured she was talking to her animals, she finally found me and said "but mommy I wanted big band." BIG BAND, AWESOME I love it really I do, but how many 4 year olds even know what big band is? I tried a wrong channel to see if she knew what it was, she did!

Also, did you know a little pumpkin, one that a 4 year old can carry around the house for a long time, can make a pie, 2 loaves of pumpkin bread and still have pumpkin left over? That's what we did yesterday. Next weekend, grape jelly.

SO SWEET

Abbie was looking rather somber so I asked her what was wrong and she said I'm sad for JoAnn and your Grandpa, I said why and she said they are in heaven. I told her we didn't need to be sad for them, they were in heaven with God and weren't hurting or anything anymore. Then she said ok, but we don't ever throw anyone out of our hear mommy.

October

It's breast cancer awareness month. Everything has a month and a ribbon. I was being a good kid and adding a ribbon to my siggy at work so I put this in my siggy.

It's pretty right, perfectly acceptable. Then I heard about a number I heard on the debate last night. **WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE DEBATE, JUST THIS NUMBER** Ten Billion a month in Iraq TEN BILLION A MONTH IN IRAQ. I can't even think what 10 billion of anything looks like I thought to myself. I don't really know why that number popped in my head, but perhaps it was because I was thinking about the sea of people at the starting line of the Komen walk I was at earlier this year. It wasn't close to 10 billion, not anywhere close not even a fraction, but there were people as far as I could see in both directions, there were so many people we decide it would be better to watch than to walk with Sarah and Abbie in that crowd. Probably thousands, if THOUSANDS of people look like that how many is TEN BILLION. They can spend 10 billion. Rick said it's not even real money, even better, if they can spend 10 billion of not real money a month, A MONTH, couldn't they take just one month and put it to something good? JUST ONE MONTH OF THAT MONEY and maybe we wouldn't be adding stupid little sweet pretty pink ribbons to our siggys. and that made me want to add this ribbon.

Can you read that, Breast Cancer! Say It! Fight It! Cure It! Damn It! I didn't add it, I need my job and it's not "professional"

but if they could take one month of that 10 billion damn it, what could we use pretty pink ribbons for then?

totally random

How many times a day are you asked "how are you" and someone actually cares? Really think about it. In my job almost everytime I answer the phone someone is asking and I TRUTHFULLY don't think any of the people asking care. Even people walking by me, "Hi, how are ya" don't think they really want to know. Very rarely are we asked that question and someone really wants to know. I want to pick a day, and every time I am asked that question answer it truthfully. Can you imagine?

How are you, well considering my 4 year old fought me tooth and nail about getting dressed, insisted that she should have sugar and donuts for breakfast, told me she only wanted her daddy to take her to school would I call him to back for her and then cried that I she would miss me when I was leaving her at school I'm great, oh well except that our power bill is high, water bill is going to double and money isn't growing on a tree in my back yard. CAN YOU IMAGINE if you said that or anything even remotely close?

Right now I tell people I'm awesome, and they say really you are, nope but if I keep saying that it has to be true eventually.

why shy?

Abbie's so shy, I'm not sure why. Ok, well maybe her mom & dad are shy. My friends don't believe me when I say that, but obviously they don't remember when they first met me, not when they first got to know me, but when they first met me. When I first started working with you, or seeing you at Abbie's school, or where ever it is I know you from. Really I am shy. I'm slow to warm up but once I'm warmed I'm hot. Rick is the same way, well unless you are holding a transmitter, then he doesn't care. But even people who have known him for years sometimes haven't heard him string together more than 5 or 6 sentences at a time. However, if you get to know him and get him talking about something he's interested in, he WON'T SHUT UP.

I think I missed out on a lot sitting back and doing nothing. How many things in highschool or college or since then could I have done better at if I was willing to jump right in. Even now, there are things I'm not doing or am not doing well enough because I'm hesitant.

I'm not sure why, we are just like that. And now so is Abbie. It hurts me to watch her in a new situation, something she REALLY wants to do but I can't help her do. I know I can't always help her, or be there next to her all the time, but it's so hard to know she wants to do something, but she's just not there yet. She's started dance. REALLY wants to go every Saturday, but then gets there and she can hardly join the circle. My dance teacher, joining was not a choice. We always said if we died before the next class prop us up next to the piano cause Audrey wasn't having any of that missing class stuff! Abbie's teacher is gentle and soft and doesn't make the kids do anything. Well a little of that is fine, but Saturday she didn't do ANYTHING with the rest of the class, and from what I could tell the teacher didn't even bother to try. I understand she's the shy one, I get it, really I do however I've worked with other "shy" ones and a little goes a long way. But with $30 for a six week session what can I expect.

So I know there's not a lot of comments, but what are your suggestions. Did you have a shy one? What did you do. It's not just dance, it's playing at the playground, with kids of friends, anywhere there are kids she doesn't really know. It's not just kids, cause I see LOTS of kids who just jump right in. She is the only one in her class who sits on the side. I just don't want her to miss out.

bagles

Did I tell you all I made bagels? Garlic & Onion this time. Next time I think I'll make 1/2 sweet 1/2 savory. I had NO idea how easy they would be to make! Enjoy

Also, check out the dinner Abbie made AND ATE. Salmon patties, who'd a thunk she'd eat that. She's been living on cereal and yogurt lately, but turns out if we let her make it she eats it!

that's not him

So we decide, ok I decided it was time to go back to church. I mentioned it and Abbie was shocked at the thought we could actually go to church, so I figured it was time. Well we went yesterday. The left overs of Ike were over head and we got SOAKED. I figured God was just shocked Rick was with us :) Anyway I dropped them off and when I was running in the down pour I dropped my keys in a puddle that was so deep they floated UNDER A CAR. So in the POURING rain I'm not quite on my knees trying to balance my purse, Abbie's back pack, the umbrella and something else to dig my keys out. I got them and got inside.

Abbie was really very good, I was glad. She was curious about many things and whispered a lot of questions. Then I noticed her looking at the crucifix over and over and over, so finally she whispered in my ear "Mommy that's not Jesus Christ it doesn't look at all like him" I guess she was looking for the long brown hair guy.

Then when he talked about remembering those of us who have gone before us to heaven, or what ever the line is, Abbie said pretty loud, Mommy he knows JoAnn and your Grandpa. Funny the things kids hear and remember. Brought tears to my eyes, but reminded me we were in the right place.

Dancing

Have you met Abbie? Have you spent any time in her presence when there is music around? She loves to dance right? So I watched for the parks district catalog to come out, they had a dance class that fills right away every time and I managed to be a responsible mommy and get her signed up. We got the shoes, explained what the heck a leotard was, added tights and a matching skirt and she was ready. She had her first class Saturday. I checked to make sure we could watch, sure they said, they were wrong. There's a little window about 12 inches wide and trust me 20 parents don't all fit. anyway, grandma and I left her there for the class and were back before it was over. She looked like she had fun. We played at the playground until some girl told her she shocked her and then we went home. Plastic slides, dry air are apparently not a good combo.

Anyway, in the car on the way home I said so did you have fun. No I don't like dance and I don't want to go back EVER. Ok, chalked it up to being tired? Later I asked her more about it and she said it was boring and she didn't like listening to the teachers voice. LOVELY. I'm not going to force her to do something she dislikes, really I won't, but she has to go back. We paid for the session and she can't just give up after one class.

She spent the week before the class with Grandma & Grandpa, who are wonderful. I'm hoping that she just wasn't ready to listen to the teacher after a week of loving grandparents who think she does almost no wrong. Let's face it who after a week of vacation wants to listen to anyone :)

She's going back on Saturday, it's not ok to give up after just one time right? Cross your fingers.

What did you do this weekend?

What did you do this weekend? We made jelly, baked bread, made a bird house and baked bread. Yes we baked bread twice.

First we made peach jelly. We had a lot, I had no idea how much 2 pecks of peaches would be until we had it in our hand :) It's chunky peach and the peaches are from the farmers market so they were super fresh. Here are some pictures of the jelly

All of the jars processed perfectly!!

Then I made some bread with Abbie. What a wonderful thing, we had a blast. Sweet whole wheat. It was AMAZING with that fresh jelly.

I also made challah, not so great on the breading, but yummy.

So lots of pictures, my first jelly, Abbie's first bread and my first challah.

oh the bird house.

LOVE IT

Not a post about Abbie, sorry.

I got a ped egg yesterday and I LOVE IT. My feet were so nasty I wouldn't even get a pedicure anywhere ever, but now I don't even need one! It was 10 bucks and I figured I'd be wasting my money, but figured what the hay. I LOVE IT. I thought it would hurt, even a pumice stone or foot file make my feet a little sore, but this was just like rubbing it with my hand. My feet are as smooth as Abbie was the day she was born, ok not quite, but way worth the 10 bucks.

I almost never wear shoes, my are dry, thick and cracked YICKY and now I'd send you a picture of them and not blush.

Anyway just wanted to share.

Blankets

When I was pregnant with Abbie I had high expectations of myself. I found a cute cross stitch blanket kit with lovely animals that sort of matched the theme of her room. So I set out to finish it before she came. GOOD THING SHE WAS LATE. But I finished it before she was here and it was a great baby blanket. It was huge when I was working on it, seemed like I would NEVER finish.
I made her another blanket, her sweet heart blanket. I had some material I bought probably 6 years before she was born. It has hearts & musical notes and the words to “you are my sunshine” After I had her I knew I had to use it to make another blanket. I decide to quilt around each of the hearts. Ok the hearts are an inch or so in size and I’m guessing there are a couple hundred on the blanket and it felt HUGE. Maybe it just felt like that, but there’s a lot. So I quilted and quilted and quilted. Finally I finished it. I have no idea how old she was. but I finished it and she LOVED her sweet heart blanket. It’s pretty big, not quite big enough for a comforter, but covers most of the top of her twin size blanket.

When she started at Kids First she chose the cross stitched blanket to take with her. I was worried that when they washed it every week they wouldn’t be as careful with it as I had been. I worked LONG AND HARD on that and remember feeling her move beneath it as I was desperately trying to finish it thinking she’d be there any second. Ok, so I was way wrong, but anyway. I was hesitant to let her take it, but it’s what she wanted so she took it.
Last night picking clothes for the next day she told me she needed to wear long pants to school because her legs got cold at nap time. When I asked her what happened to her blanket she told me she was too big for it. Too big for that blanket that took me probably 6 months to finish? What did she want instead I asked, thinking it meant a trip to the store for a blanket, but she said her sweet heart blanket was big enough. Looking at it I thought it couldn’t be bigger than the other blanket, just didn’t seem like it, especially when I held it up to her. Looked just like the animal blanket.

So we took it to school this morning and did the swap. The sweetheart blanket was the same size as the animal blanket… the last time I saw it next to her. She’s grown. It’s odd how things like blankets are what make me see how much bigger she is. I remember the first time I laid her on the animal blanket how tiny she seemed and now it’s not even big enough to cover her legs.

Well now I know how old she was when the animal blanket became too small, how old will she be before the sweet heart blanket is too small?

I’ll say one more thing about blankets. When she was born we had so many hand made blankets I thought we’d never use them all. Each one has been named and loved more than I ever thought possible. We treasure each and every one and I’ve decided it’s my new gift to mom’s, something handmade to love their baby with and to remember the hands that made that wonderful gift.

how old

When you have a child there are so many “how old’s” how old was she when she rolled over, sat up, walked, talked, was potty trained, slept through the night, rode a bike, started school. The list goes on forever. Those are ALL very important things, but here are the how olds I’d love to know, good ones and bad ones

How old will she be before I stop sitting on the end of her bed watching her sleep?
How old will she be before my heart breaks as I walk away from her class room?
How old will she be before I stop waking because I “think” I hear her?
How old will she be before I know if I’d made good choices, at least for some of them?
How old will she be before she realizes I’m not quite so perfect?
How old will she be when we have our first real fight?
How old will she be when she looks at her own baby and wonders if it’s even possible that I ever loved her as much as she loves the baby in her arms?
How old will she be when she looks at her own baby and realizes that I always did and still do love her as much as she loves the baby in her sights?
How old will she be when I stop wondering if I have the right carseat, dr, daycare, tooth paste or what ever it is?How old will she be when she really understands how much I love her and would do ANYTHING for her

four years ago

4 years ago today I was probably sitting on my couch feeling sorry for myself. It was one day past my due date and my second week off work. I started my leave the first of July because all along they’d been saying the baby was big, I’d go any day but for sure before my due date of the 8th. I WAS MISERABLE. Abbie moved as much before she came out as she did after, and her favorite position was stretched out so something was under my right rib and something else was poking my left hip.

Every morning I’d come downstairs jumping step by step hoping that gravity would help. I walked and walked and walked, and when I wasn’t doing that I slept. I still have the only thing that I wore that was actually comfortable, it was red and UGLY, but it was relatively cool and comfortable. That dress was the LAST thing I wore before she came and the LAST thing I would ever want to wear again J

Little did I know how much longer I had to go. Looking back I can see it was only 11 days, but those 11 days seemed to drag out FOR MONTHS.

In the end she was more than worth it and I miss feeling whatever that was under my ribs. Now though I can feel all of her poking me early in the morning as she climbs into our bed and for that I’m thankful.

Smarty Pants

So we have a rule at our house, it was a rule I had when I was little, if you don't know what a word means you can't say that word. Eliminates explaining what some things mean to a 3 year old :)

So this morning I rolled out a little farther into an intersection at a 4 way stop than someone thought I should. I wasn't in the intersection, just close, sorry I don't usually, I was in a hurry and it was a BAD morning!! anyway the man who thought I went out too far was looking at me like I had purple hair and antennas even after he was in front of me, so I said keep looking fool it's better than driving or something like that. I didn't call him stupid, no cuss words nothing like that. From the back seat I hear

"Mommy I don't think fool is a very nice word, do you even know what it means"

HONESTLY THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID

so I told her, you are right it's not a very nice word, but I do know what it means

"well what does it mean then mommy"

"it means that this man is not very smart"

"I don't think so mommy, you probably shouldn't say that again"

Happy Friday.

SERIOUSLY

why is it that the ONLY time in the 2 years we have had this printer that I ACTUALLY WANT TO PRINT ANYTHING I have to go to the store buy printer cartridges and figure out how the heck to use them. SERIOUSLY. And apparently there are 2 different color cartridges that will work and I GOT THE WRONG ONE. Why the heck is it printed ON THE FLAP OF THE PRINTER if it's NOT GOING TO WORK. REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So now 70 bucks DOWN THE DRAIN and I still don't have the wonderful fathers day gifts I dreamt up. That's a tank of gas for the love of pete!!!!

pictures

this should be the link to our pictures from DC. Enjoy

http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=9715l27e.3mbdw5xm&x=0&h=1&y=mbrmbs&localeid=en_US

stay tuned

My goal is to get all the pictures and video from our trip uploaded tonight. WE HAD A BLAST DC ROCKS!

Now back to reality.

another first

We've lived here for almost a year so you'd think all the first except the first anniversary of the purchase would be over, you are wrong! We had our first dinner in the yard. We have a little short outside table and tonight we put it up. Rick BBQ'd pork steaks for me, brats for him and we had a cook out. That's what Abbie called it even though she ate left over pizza, hey she's no gourmet, and mostly a vegetarian these days, but she ate out with us.

We had some strawberries that were getting soft so I whipped up a pie, yes on a Monday night. It was YUMMY, although Abbie thinks the only part that is pie is the crust so she scraped off all the strawberries, raspberries and juicy stuff and ate just the crust, but hey we were all happy and full when we were done.

Hoping your weather is as nice as ours and you can get out for some fresh air soon

GOOSE EGG

So Abbie's been unusually attached to her father and unusually hateful to her mother, just in time for Mother's Day, wonderful. Tonight she started throwing her fit the SECOND I walked in the door at school. She wrapped it up in time to get in the car and say she didn't want to talk. Ok fine. Then 1/2 way home we had this conversation
"momma what color are your eyes"
"my eyes are hazel (cause the mostly are)"
"momma hazel is the worst color of eyes, I don't like hazel"
silence from me (yes honestly silence)
"momma hazel is the worst color of eyes, I don't like hazel"
silence from me (yes honestly silence)
"momma hazel is the worst color of eyes, I don't like hazel"


yes that many times. What was there for me to say, NOTHING. I know it's a phase, but man am I screwed when she's 14 or 18! So by the time I got home I was ready to hand her off to her precious father and do anything else. As she was getting out of the car she shoved my hand away so I took a step back from the car. She likes to put one hand on the door one on the seat and swing her feet out. So tonight as she swings her feet out her right hand slips and she goes flying at a funky angle just as I'm stepping away from the car, lands with a CRACK on her head and then a flop as her body hits the CEMENT floor of my garage! Much to my relieve IMMEDIATE AND LOUD SCREAMING. Ice, hugs, kisses, feeling of the great goose egg. She is fine. Totally fine, big old goose egg, ok maybe a robin's egg, but still. During the screaming and ice, momma, momma. The precise moment she realized she was not dying, dadda, dadda.

you have got to be kidding me!

Shameless Plug

So I sort of have been selling Avon, and I have a website if you are interested, no pressure or anything. www.youravon.com/mvessell

And Abbie's something else this week. yesterday something made her mad and we had an hour long fit, nothing worked so I just started IGNORING her, that didn't work either, but she got tired eventually. Any suggestions for the screaming?

DIE DANDELION DIE!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so something really stupid ticked me off today. Not even worth going into that's how childish and STOOPID it really is. I've never had a yard when I've been mad before, ok, for the last 11 1/2 months I have, but anyway. So I headed out with this little pointy tool, well the one in this picture is much nicer than mine, and for some reason they think it's worth 48 bucks, I think mine was a buck 99 (can anyone tell me why this one is 24 times more than mine?). Can I just tell you how much better it made me digging THOSE STUPID LITTLE THINGS OUT OF THE GROUND. I can't fix, change or even explain what happened today, but man I got rid of those dang dandelions, and because the empty lot next to us is full of them I think I have a summers worth of therapy ahead of me.

We had an ok weekend, big kids birthdays. They cleaned up on the cash! Little one has allergies from H E double hockey sticks, ended up with pink eye and home with me today. We had an ok day except for the gunk in her eyes and the fact that it was sunny, rainy, hailing and snowing all in the space of an hour or so!

chicken breasts, ground turkey, cereal and fruit bars are all cheaper at Sams. Milk, yogurt, canned veggies and a lot of other stuff cheapest at Aldis. Frozen fruit bars, fruit snacks and whole wheat pasta cheapest at Walmart. These are the things you learn when gas is $3.69 a gallon, gotta make that up some place. Oh and getting to St. Louis from here takes TWICE AS MUCH GAS WHEN THE WIND IS OUT OF THE WEST AT ABOUT A MILLION MILES AN HOUR.

Hope your day was as good as mine has ended up. Cross your fingers for not so much gunk in the eyes tomorrow and that the stupid thing from today is forgotten when I get up tomorrow.

Happy Birthday tomorrow Sarah Beth, Wednesday to Jackie (or else next week Jackie) and on the 8th to Kirk.

prayers to JoAnn and everyone else who needs them.



ps-- the best news of all? The tax return that the IRS "lost" the direct deposit info for? In the mail today!

books

I tell people that Abbie sits up late at night reading and they look at me like I'm a liar. Honestly she does. Just because she's not reading the words doesn't mean she's not reading. She knows the stories, she remembers any book we've read more than 2 times pretty much. Even the ones from the library that we've long since taken back. Mommy remember that book we had 4 legs bad 2 legs good with Orvie? Honest.

So tonight I go in to kiss her before I go to sleep and she's got 7 stuffed animals on her bed. Not circled around her, not piled up next to her pillow, but on books. Each animal is on a book just for them lying down. I'll ask her tomorrow but I'm confident she'll say that they wanted to read before they slept. She's also got one book opened, but pages down to her mattress so she doesn't lose her spot, and a 2 inch stack of books next to her pillow.

We threatened to take away her books because she wasn't sleeping, but of all the things in her room that's the only thing I think she would actually miss. I went through them to get rid of some of the "baby" board books we haven't read in AGES maybe since before moved here last year. She started picking them up and telling me about them one at a time without opening them. It was a stack of books that would have filled a large paper shopping bag, I didn't even remember them all. I've carried 2 bags of her toys to the car to give to daycare before and she didn't even blink. So no we'll not take away her books.

I guess this is what comes from no tv to speak of. Just the news in the morning and we don't turn it on anymore in the evening until she is in bed. One Angelina Ballerina was enough to make her squeal Wednesday night. We hadn't even noticed how long it really had been since we plopped her in front of the screen, for that I'm grateful, and we don't seem to miss it really.

But her books, we could never do without out. What are your favorite's?

and apparently tomorrow April 12th here in the land of corn and flat lands it's supposed to snow FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND TRUE WHY!

Can we go meet God?

So, I won tickets to Jesus Christ Superstar. We didn't have money for a sitter so I decided to take Abbie rather than Rick. We talked about the show, how there would be singing and dancing, how she needed to sit mostly still and use her quiet voice. We talked about how the people would be on a stage and unlike the JamFest last summer people wouldn't think it was cute if she hung out around the front dancing. I thought we were prepared.

She loved the organ music and then the curtain opened and Jesus & his buds ran across the stage. They came back out and she whispered in my ear "who are they mommy" so I explained the one in the white was Jesus and the rest were the apostles. About 10 minutes she leaned over and whispered "can I got down and meet God" See I thought I had prepared her, I'd told her everything but the most important part, it's TOTALLY pretend, and she was TOTALLY disappointed. She loved the show, but just was bummed not to meet God.


Her favorite part by the way? two parts actually, the bad guys in black hats and the Elton John style King. Go figure.

Next we'd like to win tickets to the circus, cause I'm too cheap to buy them. Cross your fingers.

What a difference a year makes

Anyone remember school pictures last year? I can't get them to paste in here right, but check out the blog from last April. Can you say PATHETIC?

Well here's the link for this year, MUCH BETTER.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=9715l27e.9u7mkvzm&x=0&h=1&y=v5680n&localeid=en_US

you'll never know dear

We had a really good weekend. There was a shower for a cousin in St. Louis and we had so much fun. I forget how fun my family is until we get a bunch of us in the same place. There were more generations than I can remember there. Abbie was thrilled about all the cousins.

Our Monday morning, not so nice. Abbie was tired and tired Abbie = crabby Abbie. Even the promise of a library visit did not cheer her up. So we just moved slowly. We did manage to get out the door with a minimum of screeching. It is a gloomy day here. The weekend was such beautiful weather it was just sad to see rain and grey skies. I said something about how ugly the day is, Abbie asked me why it was ugly and I said well the sky is not blue it’s grey and raining and she said

“but mommy, I make you happy when skies are grey”

Do you know the song? You are my sunshine? I sing it all the time, I remember having it sung to me when I was little. I don’t have lots of childhood memories, but I can hear that song. I sang it to her older brother and sister until they moaned at the sound of it, but she never tires of hearing it. I found material with sunshine and hearts printed with the words to the song and made her a quilt, it’s her sunshine blanket. She is my sunshine that is for sure, and today when the skies were grey she did make me happy.

May all your days be happy

NO SNOW

So the weather here is INSANE. It was over 40 yesterday and today the high I think is 4 or something too cold to even count. The wind chill should be around -12 or something else too cold to count. I'm guessing hubby is THRILLED to be in Florida! Then I checked the weather and we may get a couple of inches of snow Monday night. It CAN NOT SNOW. Lots of reasons, but the two most important, I do not want to shovel AND I CAN NOT miss work. I just can't. Already have just recently. I don't have the money to pay a sitter for an entire day, so if it snows Abbie will just be a hh employee for the day I supposed. So think NO SNOW, NO SNOW, NO SNOW. And if you are thinking SNOW then your butt better be up here to shovel and babysit!

On a positive note, some girls came over to scrap book last night and we had a LOVELY time. I never have people over and I really need to do it more. Abbie missed her nap and fell asleep just after 5, got up just as people got here so she was up the whole time, but in a wonderful mood so it was ok. Thursday a friend came to watch LOST with us and that was fun too. this Thursday is Valentines day and I think she's comeing back again, none of us really have plans and LOST is on, hubby is in Florida as previously mentioned so it will just be us for Valentines.

Have a great week.

misunderstanding

So Abbie has decided she is a big girl and doesn’t need to sleep with a pull up or diaper any longer. Too bad she hasn’t had that conversation with her bladder yet. Fortunately/unfortunately she hasn’t been waking up when she wets. Fortunately because I’m not getting up in the middle of the night, unfortunately because how will she learn if she doesn’t wake up.

I was thinking about switching to no pull up, but she asked Saturday night if she could skip the pull up and we are going with it. She goes before she gets in bed, goes just before we go to bed and the plan is to head in just as she gets up, in fact I woke her this morning to take her and she’d already gone. Suggestions are welcome. Thank heaven for a water proof sheet and a washer/dryer in our house.

Oh, for those of you who knew about the stickers for sleep deal, we FINALLY made it to noodles. It only took 24 days to get 10 stickers!

Thanks Grandpa!!

Check it out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZqzUmwBOsk

by the way, it's apparently so cold here that schools all over the land are cold so Abbie gets a stay home day. So sad I won't be staying with her and daddy gets her all to himself :( -24 is on the schedule for tomorrow. FUN FUN.

hey that's mine

I know it happens, eventually every child decides to dig through their mothers purse. Looking for money, mints, keys lord knows what, but something they HAVE TO HAVE. I just did notrealize it would happen so soon.

I was on the phone last night and Abbie asked for some gum, she LOVES HER SOME GUM, and I said ok hang on. I knew there wasn’t any in the house so I’d have to go out to the car. I turn around and there she is elbow deep in my purse looking through it like she owns it. You know when you are in line at the store, are late getting back from lunch and some crazy fool is emptying their purse to find exact change, yea that’s what she looked like. I just cracked up. She put it down when I asked her to stop but I just thought I’d have a couple more years before she realized my purse is where the good stuff is hidden.

She got the gum by the way, it was in the car, now it’s in my purse where she said it belongs.

3 1/2 years really?

It's been almost 3 1/2 years since Abbie begrudgingly came into this world. It's hard to imagine life before her. I mean I know there used to be days I could sleep forever and just run out of the house only grabbing my keys and wallet, but that sounds more like a story than my life these days.

I'm so glad she's here though. I honestly thought it would never happen and then the fact that she took her own sweet time was just to be expected. She is without a doubt the best thing I've ever done and always will be. Even when she's 16 and hates me.

Ironically she's not here today. She's spending today & tomorrow with my parents, so for a really short time I'll be able to remember what it was like when she didn't live here. Rick and I are going out tomorrow, just to the book store and dinner but without the extra buckling, potty stops and picking a restaurant that will for sure have chocolate milk and crayons. We'll end up somewhere with crayons though I'm sure.

This weekend they went to stl and I stayed home. Everyone said I would love sleeping late. Well Saturday I woke at 6 before the alarm and Sunday the alarm wasn't on so I slept until 7:30. I remember when I was little and my mom would be dressed and fed by the time I got up and I never understood it, I'm still not sure I do, but I'm getting to be that way. No matter what I don't sleep too late. For me sleeping until 9 is like sleeping the day away. Last night I had 1/2 a bottle of wine for dinner and still up at 7:30. Now I didn't get out of bed until 11, but I was awake watching stupid things on tv, but still up at 7:30. Even Abbie has been sleeping later than me these days which is nice. I love to catch her as she wakes up, reminds me of that first day with her all those days ago. All one thousand two hundred seventy nine of them.

I'm going to say it anyway...

I’m sure anyone who has a child and any other care giver involved with that child (spouse, grandparent, neighbor, baby sitter, daycare, the family dog) is going to say they’ve been through what I’m going to whine about and will tell me this too shall pass. Too bad, I’m going to whine anyway, so it’s ok if you stop reading now J

I love my daughter, I really do. I don’t even mind being the one who’s ALWAYS home with her. My hubby travels for work and for fun, every trip is a combination, and that’s ok. He does what he loves and for that we are all grateful. However, what a kick in the teeth it is when he comes home from a day or week of being gone and Abbie drops me like a hot potato! Seriously! Sunday he comes home after being gone ALL DAY and you would think I had beaten her for the entire day the way she latched onto him. He can be gone for a week and get exactly the same response. She refuses to talk to him on the phone, says she’s mad he is gone, but as soon as she hears the garage door or hears him coming you would think she has no mommy.

So last night I figure fine, give them some time together. I decided to put in an exercise tape (yes exercise, stop laughing) and do my thing while they play and do the bed time thing. You would have think I said I was leaving for a journey around the globe. I think the 3rd or 4th time I told her to go back to bed she had a MELT DOWN. Serious meltdown. I heard Rick go in to talk to her and she said I was being mean. How is it that he can go away for days at a time, come home and be a hero, but I take 30 minutes and I’m the evil monster.

I know, this too shall pass.

last post for the day

How old are you. I feel much older knowing that I am 12,100 days old, not to mention

1,045,440,000 seconds that's a billion isn't it! I never thought I'd have a billion anythings, so I guess a billion seconds is a good start :)
17,424,000 minutes
290,400 hours
1728 weeks (rounded down)

try it out how old are you

http://www.timeanddate.com/date/duration.html

pictures maybe

Abbie got a camera for Christmas, here's the link to what she's taken pictures of so far. If she's not in the picture she actually took it, some of them are pretty good I think, what do you think?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lovemyabbie/show/

an Abbie post

Enough of the stuff about other people or what's bugging me. Some Abbie stuff at last :)

We've been busy between Christmas and New Years. Christmas morning in the chaos of paper and toys and everything Abbie looked at me and said "This is more presents than I had in my whole life" It was the sweetest thing ever, but man did that set me up for next year. And it wasn't even that big of a pile! She loved the puzzles & scooter & doll house, I really think she did, and she's still playing with them. She ran over baby Jesus a million times with the RC car I won at work, so that's going on a shelf until she's got better eye hand coordination. I got her some dolls that I should have kept for next year, but that's ok, there's always one of those gifts right?

She got a digital camera from my mom. I will put the software on my computer and upload some shots she took, some are fabulous, others look like those pictures people swear are ghosts or auras or what ever spooky thing is popular that year. About the camera her comment was "this is just what I wanted" Remember when something could be just what you wanted when you never imagined it before! The magic of Christmas. I think she's really brought that back for both Rick and me, and we needed it.

I spent an hour in her room tonight doing puzzles with her. SHE LOVES A PUZZLE, mommy not so much, never really been a puzzle girl, but watching her figure out the ones she says she just can't do is so much fun for me and for her. She even cleaned up before getting out the next puzzle.

Today I rearranged her room in the hopes that moving her bed would help with the sleep problem, she is just not sleeping. I thought maybe because her bed faced the door and she insists on the door being open that seeing us or just imagining she was seeing us had been part of the problem. So she came home from school to a new lay out, there's more floor space it seems, same amount of furniture, but better layout maybe? Anyway, she said, oh mommy that's just beautiful, but I'll still sleep in your room tonight so you won't be lonely without daddy" Maybe I'll sleep in her bed, cause I don't get much sleep at all when she's in mine :)

k, well I guess that's all the Abbie I have. I'm sleepy and she's finally sleeping so maybe I can for a bit before I feel those size 10 shoes in my ribs....

tell me

I work with a girl who's been pregnant 9 times, NINE TIMES and has zero children here with her. Tell me how that's right. Tell me what to say to her. She managed to give birth to a live child just over 3 weeks ago and a week ago he died, tell me why. Now every time I look at Abbie my heart just breaks for her. Someone called to tell me he'd passed in the middle of one of Abbie's FAMOUS FITS. She's willful, stubborn and has more energy than anything I've ever seen when she's throwing one, and quite often in the midst of one just when I want to give up and am wondering what in the hell was I thinking something happens to remind me just how lucky we really are. Last Saturday it was Elaine calling to tell me that my co worker had lost the baby she'd been hoping and praying for so long. How dare I be frustrated with my perfectly healthy 3 year old, the screaming coming from her mouth proving that she's COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY HEALTHY. How selfish I felt wishing for a more easy going child, one who just went along with things. You know the kind you think everyone else has. I have friends who's kids always "seem" perfect, cousins with children I've never seen throw a fit and I always feel like such a failure of a mom around them. I'm done feeling that way. I do my best with Abbie and that's just all there is. I need to stop worrying so much about the crazy things she does, or the times she's screaming or not sleeping or insisting to have things her way, and be happy and thankful for those times, knowing that there are children who can't, parents who can't hear their kids scream or laugh or fight or anything because they are gone or sick or something.

All the blogs are talking about resolutions for new years, losing weight, being better with money, keeping houses clean, desks organized and lawns cut, well those are all wonderful resolutions and I've got a couple like that, but I think the most important resolution I'll make is to appreciate what I actually have, to see it, REALLY SEE IT, and not to focus so much on what I'm missing, don't have, can't do, can't be, forgot to do, will never have time for, things that never really mattered anyway.

Today I'm thankful I woke up next to Abbie in a warm bed and the first thing she did was to giggle and grin at me.
I'm thankful that I was here to hear her say just before she fell asleep last night "Mommy it's so nice to snuggle in the bed"
I'm thankful that although my husband is gone sleeping in a hotel with maid service, eating at restaurants and having fun, he'll be glad to come home on Sunday.
I'm thankful that although my family is crazy and has days I'd rather be away, that I know they are always right there, when I know I need them and even when I didn't know.
I am thankful for my friend Elaine, who always reminds me no matter where I've been I can head anywhere I want to.

Christmas Day

Here's the link to Christmas pictures. If it doesn't work let me know and I'll send it to you by email.
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=9715l27e.c28vazte&x=0&h=1&y=-cwmk9g

and check out youtube for some video, just go there and search lovemyabbie, should bring it up. I'll add the link here later.

all I want for Christmas

Abbie met with Santa Saturday night. She asked him for a dolly doll, some puzzles and a scooter. As luck would have it all of those things will be under the tree. The scooter is one thing that she's consistantly asked for since before Thanksgiving. I'm not sure where she saw one, but she's convinced it's what she wants, even when we show her pictures she says yes mom, that's it. So we've got the helmet ready for riding tomorrow. I'll post video if I have some time.

Rick and I were talking about Christmas over the weekend. This is only the second Christmas we'll spend away from our extended family. The first one was no fun for either of us. I had the flu and we were just homesick. This year, we are going to miss everyone and being at Grandma's Christmas Eve and Mom's Christmas day, but we are totally looking forward to waking up tomorrow with Abbie. She is TOTALLY excited and really gets it this year.

I'm working today, I'm glad to have a job, but it's no fun working today, and with how strange things have been at work lately I really didn't have much Christmas spirit, but just when I had about given up on Christmas God gave me a 3 year old. Not to remind me about the presents or stuff, but to remind me what Christmas is for, and I can't wait to spend the whole day with Rick and Abbie tomorrow doing not much at all. We are going to get movies, make home made pizza and probably stay in our jammies the majority of the day. I hope you all have a wonderful day how ever you choose to spend it.

Here are some pictures from years past. I found some old ones I'm sneaking into my calendars and scanned them last night.

top row, great great Aunt Kate, Great Grandma, Great Great Grandma

front row Grandma, me & mom

This is Molly

this is me.

Thanksgiving

Not just the day but the feeling.....

We had my parents, sister, grandmother and Rick's sister up for thanksgiving. It was really nice and everything went well. It was the first Thanksgiving Rick and I have spent together in 11 or so years, which is as long as we've been back together. Normally he goes to an RC Car race, so he was checking it on line the entire time, but he was there.

Sometimes I forget all the things I have to be thankful for and then I read something or see something happening to a friend. On another blog about what you wanted for Chrsitmas that you won't really get people were posting things like wanting their kids to get out the whiny phase, really cool cars, free gas, all sorts of wonderful things, and then someone posted she just wanted her daughters back. They'd been killed the day after Thanksgiving in an accident. I CAN NOT EVEN IMAGINE, although I know more than one family who has actually been through this. That night while we were all sleeping a friend of mine who has been trying to have a baby fo 5 years had hers. Sounds like a dream right, well not a perfect dream. She'd been in the hospital for 2 weeks already just trying to give her son as many days possible, she'd sent us all and update saying they'd hit a milestone, 23 weeks, which means if the baby came they would actually try to save him. Well that night something happened and he came and they are trying to save him. I can't even imagine what a 23 week old baby looks like. I know how long he is and weighs and all that stuff, but how fragile and tiny, I can't even make a mental picture.

So while I'm sitting in my really nice new house worrying about being short on money, listening to Abbie's cough that is left over from double ear infections, hoping that both of our paid for cars will keep running, and wondering when I should go to the grocery store I am reminded I need to stop more often and be thankful. Thankful that although we are house poor we have a warm dry safe place to sleep, thankful that although Abbie is stubborn she is healthy and had the ability to function and be stubborn, thankful that I have a ride to get to the job that pays for the groceries I'm able to buy.

It's so easy to forget all this, especially at this time of the year. We are all running around trying to get the best gift, the right size, the color they'd asked for when we need to stop and just be glad there are people in our lives, and if the color isn't perfect we'll all still have more than a lot of people.

christmas pagent

here's the songs from abbie's pagent if it works. If not I'll figure something else out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7fyxXYVAbw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tecu_Sp8nAc

Who told her my name :)

When Abbie was tiny she learned to say daddy before mommy, my feelings were hurt and a friend said "trust me she'll learn and then you'll wish she would forget" Today is one of those days I wish she would forget.

She is almost old enough to be skipping naps, note I said ALMOST. Today is one of the days she desperately needs one, needs one more than I need her to take one. She's yawning, rubbing at her eyes and fighting sleep harder than I've seen her fight anything EVER. I made the misate of coming in the computer room after I put her down. Wouldn't be a problem but her door is open and now I'm trapped. Just when I think she's asleep and head for the door I hear "mooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" WHO TOLD HER MY NAME!! So my choices are to sit here staring at the computer screen until I can hear her snore or go out the window. The window is starting to look like a good option after an hour or so.

This too shall pass and I'll be free at the snore.

quick so I don't forget

Abbie's teacher must say for goodness sakes a lot, becuase lately she's been saying for sakes and missing the goodness, it's so funny. She also tells you her shirt is backwards out rather than inside out.

because she said so :)

So I don't usually post this stuff or forward emails, but because Raquita said I probably would I shall...however I can't tag 7 bloggers because so far as I know I only actually know 2 authors of the blogs I read. So here goes.

7 random things about me.

1- I have attended more colleges than I care to admit
2- I have about 100 1/2 finished projects
3- I can cry at the drop of a hat but it's not usually intentional.
4- I love to give things I've made, now if I could just make more useful things :)
5- I knew Abbie would be a girl named Abbie from the second I realized I was pregnant
6- It's my birthday
7- I can type faster than I can talk.

So now if you blog and you read my blog post 7 random things about you and let me know.

Thanksgiving lunch

I realize it's not Thanksgiving yet, but we had lunch with Abbie today at school. She made little turkey place mats and we had a really good time. I just had one quick observation. There were only 2 dads there. I'm fairly certain most of the mom's are married, they appeared to have wedding rings on and I've seen more dads picking up than the two that were there. Rick was one of them and I'm really glad he went. I remember my dad doing stuff and it couldn't have been easy to schedule, but really what else is there. Work will ALWAYS be there in some form or another, but a 3 year old with hand made turkey placemats? That won't even be there in a month.

just an observation

REAL friends

I miss St. Louis with my whole heart. The people, the streets, the smells, the sights everything, even the nasty crazy hoosiers, but mostly for the people. Knowing that no matter when or where I could call and someone would be there. I never had a lot of friends, but all the ones I have are amazing.


Distance does not dictate who our real friends are


What a true statement. I thanked a friend for always reading & responding to my emails. It’s always emails although she’s such a dear friend to me. Every time we’ve moved I have left many friends behind. I am slow to warm to new people, I know not everyone believes it, but it’s true in the beginning. So I’m the kind of person with a few real friends rather than lots and lots of acquaintance friends. I’ve learned over time who the real friends, you know the out of sight, out of contact, but not out of mind sort of friends (well some are out of their minds, but not out of mine) I don’t have a lot of close friends here in town but sometimes I forget how many REAL friends I do have.

if you are reading this I'm guessing you are one of the real friends and I thank you for being there for me.

Coke or Pepsi

I get a fisher price email, it’s usually full of great things and I like it, not a junk email at all. Well today the parenting question was about soda for 3 year olds. SODA FOR 3 YEAR OLDS, seriously!!!! I hardly give Abbie juice and someone seriously wants to know if it’s ok to give their child soda, not all the time, but at the end of the day as a reward. Look I’ve been feeling guilty using sugar free gum as a reward for my kid and they want to use FULL SUGAR SODA. Just give them some meth. Sorry if you are one of those parents who give their kid soda, but it’s just wrong. The only time Abbie’s ever had any was once she was sick and she wouldn’t drink anything else and I gave her some sugar free sprite just to see if she’d drink that, she didn'tand I’m glad. I drink too much soda, I know it, I know that’s why I don’t have more success with the weight loss thing, it’s why I feel like crap (well partly) and so many other bad things. When I was pregnant aside from the morning sickness and being so overdue the hardest part was not drinking soda, but I did it and I am a SERIOUS DIET COKE GIRL.
Why would I want to introduce that crap to Abbie now, she’s three, she’s got plenty of time for stuff that’s bad for her in the future. When we go out to eat and a waitress asks if she want coke or sprite they are always shocked when I say milk or water. Yes we get her a kid’s shake at Steak & Shake but we go maybe once every six weeks or so and at least there’s milk in there J No soda for Abbie and less and less for me anymore.


Soda, seriously, three years old, unbelievable.

faster mommy

Well Abbie and I went to the park yesterday and I decided we should take a long walk after playing. If you have a 3 year old you know a long walk means one of two things a stroller or a short walk. So we took the stroller. It was a great day for a walk, sunny and cool, I did not notice the breeze until we were walking into the wind. We 2 choices walk back up the big old hill or keep going. The hill looked big to me and I figured the wind would die down eventually. Have you ever spent any time in central Illinois, if you had you'd know there is never a wind that dies down. Tractor trailer flip from our wind, we get snow rolls in the winter from our wind. Think jelly roll only out of snow!

anyway........ so we are walking INTO THE WIND and I run out of energy before I run out of walk so I'm really dragging. We've been walking for about 30 minutes and from the stroller I hear this sweet little voice say

"hey mommy, faster please"
"I can't go faster sweetie"
"please mommy"
"I'm too out of shape to go faster"
"WELL GET INTO SHAPE MOMMY!"

Seriously, I never thought about that. In all honestly we walked for over an hour and it was the last 10 minutes or so walking into the wind that killed me. How is it possible to walk in a circle around the dang park and walk into the wind for all but 1/3 of that walk?

I've got more to blog but I am headed home to see what she thinks I need to get today :)

you tube

I don't know how to put all the video's from here on you tube, I'm guessing there's a way to go there and see everything I've posted lately, I put a bunch on yesterday, lots of her when she was smaller.

Abbie and I stayed home today. No one was sick we just didn't want to go out. After her third fit IN A ROW I gave up and called in sick. I feel bad because it looks like it was slammed at work, but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. We had a very busy and long weekend and I think she just needed to do nothing. Life is rough when you are 3 ;)

We went to the pumpkin patch last weekend, no white pumpkins so we are still searching, but we did get a couple of them anyway. Completely forgot a camera, we'll go again this weekend and take pictures.


Oh so I was just messing with the you tube, if you just search for lovemyabbie it brings up what I posted. Harmonica playing, fit throwing, singing, playing Abbie.

Sorry for the pathetic post, have fun.

odds & ends

Abbie’s personality is shining through lately and there is so much of me in her it’s not even funny! Good and bad, it’s all there. The other day Rick and I were being silly in the car and from the back seat we hear “you people are making me crazy” and she said it exactly the way I said it to her. She’s smart when she wants to be too. I can remember when she was a baby if she didn’t want to do something it wasn’t going to happen, she never held a bottle and it made me crazy (guess that’s where she gets that line). I didn’t mind feeding her and holding it for her, but I could tell by the glint in her eye she was just not holding it, she didn’t feel like it and knew she didn’t have to. She could hold onto my earrings, her toys, anything else she wanted to put in her mouth, but not the bottle. Why bother.

Now she’s all in charge, of everything. We went to a neighborhood thing on Sunday afternoon. There was little boy who was according to Abbie misbehaving. He was climbing on a box covering what I think was electrical stuff. Abbie wasn’t supposed to play on it and he wouldn’t come down when she told him to. She came over to me and said Mommy he’s going to die playing on that thing (that she did not get from me, not sure where, but not me) and I about fell over laughing. Sometimes she’s just so matter of fact about what she says and does.

Mom’s dog is up for a visit and I guess we’d forgotten to feed her or something, anyway she was making noises and all of the sudden Abbie goes “what is wrong with this dang dog”, yep, me again and again I almost fell over.

Here’s the worst example from the last week. I wanted to pick up donuts for a friends birthday and confused the heck out of Rick trying to drive through and so we were not being friendly, not fighting, but almost. So from the back seat we hear “YOU QUIT THAT FIGHTING RIGHT NOW OR I’M GOING TO SPIT ON YOU” No one spit’s on Abbie, lets just get that out there right now, but when she’s mad she does this huffing thing with her mouth and sometimes spit comes out so we’ve had to say more than once we do NOT spit on people, so I guess she thought that would be our punishment. It’s a good thing she couldn’t see our faces because we just lost it.

Anyway, for now that’s the odds & ends I can think of, but I’m sure there’s more. She’s such a old person in a little girls body.

let's see.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxd2drf2UVM

quick update

still no paci!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!











yes I'm a little excited :)

big girl = no paci?

Just a quick update that I hope sticks!

So last night Abbie started asking for a pair of pink shoes. She’s got PLENTY of shoes and I kept telling her no but she’s my daughter and kept asking. So finally I said, would you trade your paci for pink shoes, I figured this was the only way to end the conversation because we all know that won’t happen. SHE SAID YES. So I tried explaining that it meant she wouldn’t have it again any night or nap, and she said I know I’m a big girl I want pink shoes. So we got them, she’s got nicer shoes than me, but they are pink and she gave me her paci when we got home. She made it ALL night long without it. I’m sure it’s not the end of the paci conversation, but I know if we can make it one night we are DONE.

Big Mac Blessings

So Abbie’s good, great actually. She’s full of energy, questions and attitude just like a 3 year old should be. I need to post some current pictures, but have just felt so busy. I don’t think we really are, but sometimes feeling busy is worse than actually being busy, right?

Anyway, in the last month or so stupid stuff keeps happening. First Rick’s car died. We knew we were going to have to replace it, but we were hoping to hold off until after the first of the year, still hoping, but sharing a ride is not so much fun  Abbie is so confused because she thinks my seat in the Malibu is the one behind the wheel and Rick’s been driving. She’s all about routine.

Then someone broke into the house, well does it count as broke in if they come in an open window? I should have known better, after all the years of living in South St. Louis, but I didn’t. Dad even asked if they should close the windows before they went to bed and I said no we’d be fine. Well I went to bed and they listened, and I was wrong. Yep mark your calendars, August 31st, Melissa was wrong. I guess about 12:30 or so they came in, mom got up to go to the bathroom and scared them away so all they got was our purses. Having your purse stolen is minor I think compared to what could have happened, but it’s all that pain in the butt stuff like getting a new license, library card, sams card, I never knew how many cards a person could have! Not to mention all the brand new lipsticks, and the purse I spent WAY too much money on. That will teach me to buy nice purses 

But the point of this post wasn’t a pity party for us. It’s to remind me how really and truly lucky we are. No one was hurt in the “break” in, we still have another car to share and my family is healthy (knock on wood). I have a friend who’s mother after already having cancer, having a kidney removed and a bunch of other stuff, found out she had cancer again, in her lung. They removed the lung but couldn’t get everything and now she’s got to have the max dose of chemo and radiation. The first chemo treatment made her so sick they can’t even start the radiation. Another friend’s sister just found out she has MS on top of serious diabetes. Someone else’s mom is recovering from leukemia and needs to have her knees replaced. Someone at work, their car rolled across the parking lot into a pond! One family my parents know in just 7 years have lost a son, father, mother, had Hep B, another mother has bone cancer and I’m sure many other things I don’t’ even know! I feel like I’ve been having a crappy couple of months so I just thought I would stop and realize how lucky we are.

We both have jobs; we have a great house, great kids, great family, healthy family, friends and so many other things we don’t even see as blessings. So take some time to stop and look at the little things around you that others can only dream of. My step daughter said in the car the other night that she figures every person in America had been to McDonalds and was flabbergasted when I said not everyone has the money to go to McDonalds. Did you ever think it would be a blessing to get a Big Mac?

It's her birthday

Here's some quick pics

Three is the magic number

And Abbie's magic today! She was making about as much noise at the exact moment she was born as I was when she was actually born (bummer when the epidural wears off in the MIDDLE OF A C-SECTION) Anyway, we all survived that fit and will live through many more. She did how ever let us get a couple of cute pictures. Here's one.




for those of you who know her well she loves LOVES to read and often we'll head to bed only to hear her reading to her dolls. Sometimes she falls asleep with a book in her hand, see!




anyway, more stuff later. I'm tired and party and people tomorrow..

oh, Rick is 35. Just a little older than Abbie, but a good number for him too :)

what a fit

ok, in case you check this before I figure it out just click below and you'll see a fit. I know everyone think's always perfectly sweet, but nope not a chance. I'm trying to figure out how to make it face the right way but haven't yet. if you know shoot me a message

tell me a story

So Abbie's favorite thing is to have us tell her stories, not read stories tell her stories. I'm not so good at that, need to work on it, but in the car I had one for her. It was a story about a big girl who managed to sleep without a paci for a whole week and her mommy took her to the store to buy a new toy. She loved it we talked about it, she was going to be a big girl and sleep with no paci. LOVE IT. So we do bed routine, books, pj's, brush, hug, kiss, snuggle, mommy leaves. Didn't ask for a paci 10 minutes later SCREAMING for the paci. I said remember the story about the big girl who didn't need her paci. Abbie's response



MOMMY DON'T TELL ME THAT STORY ABOUT THE GIRL GIVE ME A PACI



Well we are down to one paci anyway. That's an improvement, have you seen this picture? There are at least six paci's in this shot!

she's reading

Ok not for real, but I'm in the computer room paying bills and I hear her looking at books and telling the story. Books I haven't read her in ages, bookes I didn't think she knew. It's amazing the memory she has. My mom broke her foot and made up this silly story about how it happened and Abbie asked her to tell it SEVERAL times over the last week when they were here. Tonight I asked her to tell me the broken foot story and she did, she even remembered that the princess captain broke her foot on the toe rail. I don't even know what a toe rail is, but she remembered it.

I am contiunally amazed by her and the things she has learned and I didn't even notice. I look at her and she's this big girl, a kid not a baby and I can hardly breathe just thinking about it. As I backed the car out of our spot at daycare today she said so matter of fact "So Mommy, how was your day, mine was wonderful" For real, she said it. And just when I'm so sad but resigned to the fact that my little baby has turned into a little kid I see her in her new big girl bed, curled up in a ball looking so tiny and small. She's so big and tiny all at the same time.

I'll try to post pictures of the bed and the kid this weekend. Rick is traveling most of this week though so I don't know for sure if I'll have time. Not sure I like being home alone in our house yet. I was actually looking at alarm systems today :( but when I walk at night I notice that there are ony 2 or 3 houses in our area with alarms so probably I don't need one. Someone said get a dog, as if I didn't have enough to do already :)

hope everyone is good.

quick post

We are doing our best to settle in. I sent pictures of the new house to those I had emai for, if you'd like to see it let me know. Also if you know how to make the picture at the top smaller tell me PLEASE. and if you're reading let me know too. No one ever leaves messages. More tomorrow I hope.

Abbie has a back yard

And we are here watering it right now. She thinks the whole house is the back yard. If we go out front she says "lets to out to the front back yard" We closed May 16th and will be so glad to be done moving and packing and unpacking.

Abbie's room is pink, ours is kahki, grandma's is yellow and we'll be glad to never paint again. We got the fence we thought would never happen today.

Oh and can I tell you, Abbie told her first joke today. We were in her new bathroom and she was looking around under the sink, there was no toilet paper. For some reason I asked what she'd had for lunch and she grinned a big old grin and said "mommy, I had toilet paper for lunch" then she just cracked up!

I'll post pictures of the house soon, but it's likely to be a mess as we move in. I'm not sure where I want anything, or even if I want everything ;) We may hvae a big old yard sale eventually.

anyway, hope all is good with everyone reading.