tiny toes

SHE'S GONE.........

ok, not forever, but until Friday. She left Sunday morning. Vacation Bible Camp at her grandparents. She was as excited as I was nervous and I'm guessing having as much fun as I am missing her. Today she's having a picnic in the park and staying at her aunts house. Friday there's a show, and we won't miss it.
It feels odd not having her here, but nice. It's strange hearing the alarm go off and realize I was sleeping not being kicked in the back by tiny toes. Reminds me that one day the toes won't be tiny and they won't be sneaking into bed with us every morning. We went to dinner and were sort of lost, we could go ANYWHERE without thinking about the kids menu and would Abbie eat any of the food or if the service would be fast enough to keep her from getting bored.
I know we've got a long way to go with Abbie, but it's interesting getting a glimpse of what life will be like when she's a "big kid" and doesn't need us to be with her all of the time all of the days. It is nice without her, but I'll be SO glad to have her back. Just like when she's a big kid, it will be nice to see her be growing up but I'm going to really miss the tiny toes in my back.

last day

Today is Abbie's last day at daycare. She's only been going two days a week since I got laid off, but today will be the last of even that. There are a whole list of reasons but for today it doesn't matter. I can't decide what the knot in the pit of my stomach is about. I don't know if it's because she's a "big girl" and so much closer to kindergarten than I'm ready for, if it's because I figure I'll be scrambling soon to find daycare because not having a spot will be the quickest way to get a decent job offer, or if it makes me that much more worried about the job situation or if there's just a not because I'm anxious and nervous about every choice I'm making lately. What ever it is there's a knot. She was excited. I don't think she's been loving the place lately, there have been a LOT of changes lately and a couple of her friends have left recently so that hasn't helped.

Anyway, it's the last day....