Shameless Plug

So I sort of have been selling Avon, and I have a website if you are interested, no pressure or anything. www.youravon.com/mvessell

And Abbie's something else this week. yesterday something made her mad and we had an hour long fit, nothing worked so I just started IGNORING her, that didn't work either, but she got tired eventually. Any suggestions for the screaming?

DIE DANDELION DIE!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so something really stupid ticked me off today. Not even worth going into that's how childish and STOOPID it really is. I've never had a yard when I've been mad before, ok, for the last 11 1/2 months I have, but anyway. So I headed out with this little pointy tool, well the one in this picture is much nicer than mine, and for some reason they think it's worth 48 bucks, I think mine was a buck 99 (can anyone tell me why this one is 24 times more than mine?). Can I just tell you how much better it made me digging THOSE STUPID LITTLE THINGS OUT OF THE GROUND. I can't fix, change or even explain what happened today, but man I got rid of those dang dandelions, and because the empty lot next to us is full of them I think I have a summers worth of therapy ahead of me.

We had an ok weekend, big kids birthdays. They cleaned up on the cash! Little one has allergies from H E double hockey sticks, ended up with pink eye and home with me today. We had an ok day except for the gunk in her eyes and the fact that it was sunny, rainy, hailing and snowing all in the space of an hour or so!

chicken breasts, ground turkey, cereal and fruit bars are all cheaper at Sams. Milk, yogurt, canned veggies and a lot of other stuff cheapest at Aldis. Frozen fruit bars, fruit snacks and whole wheat pasta cheapest at Walmart. These are the things you learn when gas is $3.69 a gallon, gotta make that up some place. Oh and getting to St. Louis from here takes TWICE AS MUCH GAS WHEN THE WIND IS OUT OF THE WEST AT ABOUT A MILLION MILES AN HOUR.

Hope your day was as good as mine has ended up. Cross your fingers for not so much gunk in the eyes tomorrow and that the stupid thing from today is forgotten when I get up tomorrow.

Happy Birthday tomorrow Sarah Beth, Wednesday to Jackie (or else next week Jackie) and on the 8th to Kirk.

prayers to JoAnn and everyone else who needs them.



ps-- the best news of all? The tax return that the IRS "lost" the direct deposit info for? In the mail today!

books

I tell people that Abbie sits up late at night reading and they look at me like I'm a liar. Honestly she does. Just because she's not reading the words doesn't mean she's not reading. She knows the stories, she remembers any book we've read more than 2 times pretty much. Even the ones from the library that we've long since taken back. Mommy remember that book we had 4 legs bad 2 legs good with Orvie? Honest.

So tonight I go in to kiss her before I go to sleep and she's got 7 stuffed animals on her bed. Not circled around her, not piled up next to her pillow, but on books. Each animal is on a book just for them lying down. I'll ask her tomorrow but I'm confident she'll say that they wanted to read before they slept. She's also got one book opened, but pages down to her mattress so she doesn't lose her spot, and a 2 inch stack of books next to her pillow.

We threatened to take away her books because she wasn't sleeping, but of all the things in her room that's the only thing I think she would actually miss. I went through them to get rid of some of the "baby" board books we haven't read in AGES maybe since before moved here last year. She started picking them up and telling me about them one at a time without opening them. It was a stack of books that would have filled a large paper shopping bag, I didn't even remember them all. I've carried 2 bags of her toys to the car to give to daycare before and she didn't even blink. So no we'll not take away her books.

I guess this is what comes from no tv to speak of. Just the news in the morning and we don't turn it on anymore in the evening until she is in bed. One Angelina Ballerina was enough to make her squeal Wednesday night. We hadn't even noticed how long it really had been since we plopped her in front of the screen, for that I'm grateful, and we don't seem to miss it really.

But her books, we could never do without out. What are your favorite's?

and apparently tomorrow April 12th here in the land of corn and flat lands it's supposed to snow FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND TRUE WHY!

Can we go meet God?

So, I won tickets to Jesus Christ Superstar. We didn't have money for a sitter so I decided to take Abbie rather than Rick. We talked about the show, how there would be singing and dancing, how she needed to sit mostly still and use her quiet voice. We talked about how the people would be on a stage and unlike the JamFest last summer people wouldn't think it was cute if she hung out around the front dancing. I thought we were prepared.

She loved the organ music and then the curtain opened and Jesus & his buds ran across the stage. They came back out and she whispered in my ear "who are they mommy" so I explained the one in the white was Jesus and the rest were the apostles. About 10 minutes she leaned over and whispered "can I got down and meet God" See I thought I had prepared her, I'd told her everything but the most important part, it's TOTALLY pretend, and she was TOTALLY disappointed. She loved the show, but just was bummed not to meet God.


Her favorite part by the way? two parts actually, the bad guys in black hats and the Elton John style King. Go figure.

Next we'd like to win tickets to the circus, cause I'm too cheap to buy them. Cross your fingers.

What a difference a year makes

Anyone remember school pictures last year? I can't get them to paste in here right, but check out the blog from last April. Can you say PATHETIC?

Well here's the link for this year, MUCH BETTER.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=9715l27e.9u7mkvzm&x=0&h=1&y=v5680n&localeid=en_US

you'll never know dear

We had a really good weekend. There was a shower for a cousin in St. Louis and we had so much fun. I forget how fun my family is until we get a bunch of us in the same place. There were more generations than I can remember there. Abbie was thrilled about all the cousins.

Our Monday morning, not so nice. Abbie was tired and tired Abbie = crabby Abbie. Even the promise of a library visit did not cheer her up. So we just moved slowly. We did manage to get out the door with a minimum of screeching. It is a gloomy day here. The weekend was such beautiful weather it was just sad to see rain and grey skies. I said something about how ugly the day is, Abbie asked me why it was ugly and I said well the sky is not blue it’s grey and raining and she said

“but mommy, I make you happy when skies are grey”

Do you know the song? You are my sunshine? I sing it all the time, I remember having it sung to me when I was little. I don’t have lots of childhood memories, but I can hear that song. I sang it to her older brother and sister until they moaned at the sound of it, but she never tires of hearing it. I found material with sunshine and hearts printed with the words to the song and made her a quilt, it’s her sunshine blanket. She is my sunshine that is for sure, and today when the skies were grey she did make me happy.

May all your days be happy

NO SNOW

So the weather here is INSANE. It was over 40 yesterday and today the high I think is 4 or something too cold to even count. The wind chill should be around -12 or something else too cold to count. I'm guessing hubby is THRILLED to be in Florida! Then I checked the weather and we may get a couple of inches of snow Monday night. It CAN NOT SNOW. Lots of reasons, but the two most important, I do not want to shovel AND I CAN NOT miss work. I just can't. Already have just recently. I don't have the money to pay a sitter for an entire day, so if it snows Abbie will just be a hh employee for the day I supposed. So think NO SNOW, NO SNOW, NO SNOW. And if you are thinking SNOW then your butt better be up here to shovel and babysit!

On a positive note, some girls came over to scrap book last night and we had a LOVELY time. I never have people over and I really need to do it more. Abbie missed her nap and fell asleep just after 5, got up just as people got here so she was up the whole time, but in a wonderful mood so it was ok. Thursday a friend came to watch LOST with us and that was fun too. this Thursday is Valentines day and I think she's comeing back again, none of us really have plans and LOST is on, hubby is in Florida as previously mentioned so it will just be us for Valentines.

Have a great week.

misunderstanding

So Abbie has decided she is a big girl and doesn’t need to sleep with a pull up or diaper any longer. Too bad she hasn’t had that conversation with her bladder yet. Fortunately/unfortunately she hasn’t been waking up when she wets. Fortunately because I’m not getting up in the middle of the night, unfortunately because how will she learn if she doesn’t wake up.

I was thinking about switching to no pull up, but she asked Saturday night if she could skip the pull up and we are going with it. She goes before she gets in bed, goes just before we go to bed and the plan is to head in just as she gets up, in fact I woke her this morning to take her and she’d already gone. Suggestions are welcome. Thank heaven for a water proof sheet and a washer/dryer in our house.

Oh, for those of you who knew about the stickers for sleep deal, we FINALLY made it to noodles. It only took 24 days to get 10 stickers!

Thanks Grandpa!!

Check it out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZqzUmwBOsk

by the way, it's apparently so cold here that schools all over the land are cold so Abbie gets a stay home day. So sad I won't be staying with her and daddy gets her all to himself :( -24 is on the schedule for tomorrow. FUN FUN.

hey that's mine

I know it happens, eventually every child decides to dig through their mothers purse. Looking for money, mints, keys lord knows what, but something they HAVE TO HAVE. I just did notrealize it would happen so soon.

I was on the phone last night and Abbie asked for some gum, she LOVES HER SOME GUM, and I said ok hang on. I knew there wasn’t any in the house so I’d have to go out to the car. I turn around and there she is elbow deep in my purse looking through it like she owns it. You know when you are in line at the store, are late getting back from lunch and some crazy fool is emptying their purse to find exact change, yea that’s what she looked like. I just cracked up. She put it down when I asked her to stop but I just thought I’d have a couple more years before she realized my purse is where the good stuff is hidden.

She got the gum by the way, it was in the car, now it’s in my purse where she said it belongs.

3 1/2 years really?

It's been almost 3 1/2 years since Abbie begrudgingly came into this world. It's hard to imagine life before her. I mean I know there used to be days I could sleep forever and just run out of the house only grabbing my keys and wallet, but that sounds more like a story than my life these days.

I'm so glad she's here though. I honestly thought it would never happen and then the fact that she took her own sweet time was just to be expected. She is without a doubt the best thing I've ever done and always will be. Even when she's 16 and hates me.

Ironically she's not here today. She's spending today & tomorrow with my parents, so for a really short time I'll be able to remember what it was like when she didn't live here. Rick and I are going out tomorrow, just to the book store and dinner but without the extra buckling, potty stops and picking a restaurant that will for sure have chocolate milk and crayons. We'll end up somewhere with crayons though I'm sure.

This weekend they went to stl and I stayed home. Everyone said I would love sleeping late. Well Saturday I woke at 6 before the alarm and Sunday the alarm wasn't on so I slept until 7:30. I remember when I was little and my mom would be dressed and fed by the time I got up and I never understood it, I'm still not sure I do, but I'm getting to be that way. No matter what I don't sleep too late. For me sleeping until 9 is like sleeping the day away. Last night I had 1/2 a bottle of wine for dinner and still up at 7:30. Now I didn't get out of bed until 11, but I was awake watching stupid things on tv, but still up at 7:30. Even Abbie has been sleeping later than me these days which is nice. I love to catch her as she wakes up, reminds me of that first day with her all those days ago. All one thousand two hundred seventy nine of them.

I'm going to say it anyway...

I’m sure anyone who has a child and any other care giver involved with that child (spouse, grandparent, neighbor, baby sitter, daycare, the family dog) is going to say they’ve been through what I’m going to whine about and will tell me this too shall pass. Too bad, I’m going to whine anyway, so it’s ok if you stop reading now J

I love my daughter, I really do. I don’t even mind being the one who’s ALWAYS home with her. My hubby travels for work and for fun, every trip is a combination, and that’s ok. He does what he loves and for that we are all grateful. However, what a kick in the teeth it is when he comes home from a day or week of being gone and Abbie drops me like a hot potato! Seriously! Sunday he comes home after being gone ALL DAY and you would think I had beaten her for the entire day the way she latched onto him. He can be gone for a week and get exactly the same response. She refuses to talk to him on the phone, says she’s mad he is gone, but as soon as she hears the garage door or hears him coming you would think she has no mommy.

So last night I figure fine, give them some time together. I decided to put in an exercise tape (yes exercise, stop laughing) and do my thing while they play and do the bed time thing. You would have think I said I was leaving for a journey around the globe. I think the 3rd or 4th time I told her to go back to bed she had a MELT DOWN. Serious meltdown. I heard Rick go in to talk to her and she said I was being mean. How is it that he can go away for days at a time, come home and be a hero, but I take 30 minutes and I’m the evil monster.

I know, this too shall pass.

last post for the day

How old are you. I feel much older knowing that I am 12,100 days old, not to mention

1,045,440,000 seconds that's a billion isn't it! I never thought I'd have a billion anythings, so I guess a billion seconds is a good start :)
17,424,000 minutes
290,400 hours
1728 weeks (rounded down)

try it out how old are you

http://www.timeanddate.com/date/duration.html

pictures maybe

Abbie got a camera for Christmas, here's the link to what she's taken pictures of so far. If she's not in the picture she actually took it, some of them are pretty good I think, what do you think?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lovemyabbie/show/

an Abbie post

Enough of the stuff about other people or what's bugging me. Some Abbie stuff at last :)

We've been busy between Christmas and New Years. Christmas morning in the chaos of paper and toys and everything Abbie looked at me and said "This is more presents than I had in my whole life" It was the sweetest thing ever, but man did that set me up for next year. And it wasn't even that big of a pile! She loved the puzzles & scooter & doll house, I really think she did, and she's still playing with them. She ran over baby Jesus a million times with the RC car I won at work, so that's going on a shelf until she's got better eye hand coordination. I got her some dolls that I should have kept for next year, but that's ok, there's always one of those gifts right?

She got a digital camera from my mom. I will put the software on my computer and upload some shots she took, some are fabulous, others look like those pictures people swear are ghosts or auras or what ever spooky thing is popular that year. About the camera her comment was "this is just what I wanted" Remember when something could be just what you wanted when you never imagined it before! The magic of Christmas. I think she's really brought that back for both Rick and me, and we needed it.

I spent an hour in her room tonight doing puzzles with her. SHE LOVES A PUZZLE, mommy not so much, never really been a puzzle girl, but watching her figure out the ones she says she just can't do is so much fun for me and for her. She even cleaned up before getting out the next puzzle.

Today I rearranged her room in the hopes that moving her bed would help with the sleep problem, she is just not sleeping. I thought maybe because her bed faced the door and she insists on the door being open that seeing us or just imagining she was seeing us had been part of the problem. So she came home from school to a new lay out, there's more floor space it seems, same amount of furniture, but better layout maybe? Anyway, she said, oh mommy that's just beautiful, but I'll still sleep in your room tonight so you won't be lonely without daddy" Maybe I'll sleep in her bed, cause I don't get much sleep at all when she's in mine :)

k, well I guess that's all the Abbie I have. I'm sleepy and she's finally sleeping so maybe I can for a bit before I feel those size 10 shoes in my ribs....

tell me

I work with a girl who's been pregnant 9 times, NINE TIMES and has zero children here with her. Tell me how that's right. Tell me what to say to her. She managed to give birth to a live child just over 3 weeks ago and a week ago he died, tell me why. Now every time I look at Abbie my heart just breaks for her. Someone called to tell me he'd passed in the middle of one of Abbie's FAMOUS FITS. She's willful, stubborn and has more energy than anything I've ever seen when she's throwing one, and quite often in the midst of one just when I want to give up and am wondering what in the hell was I thinking something happens to remind me just how lucky we really are. Last Saturday it was Elaine calling to tell me that my co worker had lost the baby she'd been hoping and praying for so long. How dare I be frustrated with my perfectly healthy 3 year old, the screaming coming from her mouth proving that she's COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY HEALTHY. How selfish I felt wishing for a more easy going child, one who just went along with things. You know the kind you think everyone else has. I have friends who's kids always "seem" perfect, cousins with children I've never seen throw a fit and I always feel like such a failure of a mom around them. I'm done feeling that way. I do my best with Abbie and that's just all there is. I need to stop worrying so much about the crazy things she does, or the times she's screaming or not sleeping or insisting to have things her way, and be happy and thankful for those times, knowing that there are children who can't, parents who can't hear their kids scream or laugh or fight or anything because they are gone or sick or something.

All the blogs are talking about resolutions for new years, losing weight, being better with money, keeping houses clean, desks organized and lawns cut, well those are all wonderful resolutions and I've got a couple like that, but I think the most important resolution I'll make is to appreciate what I actually have, to see it, REALLY SEE IT, and not to focus so much on what I'm missing, don't have, can't do, can't be, forgot to do, will never have time for, things that never really mattered anyway.

Today I'm thankful I woke up next to Abbie in a warm bed and the first thing she did was to giggle and grin at me.
I'm thankful that I was here to hear her say just before she fell asleep last night "Mommy it's so nice to snuggle in the bed"
I'm thankful that although my husband is gone sleeping in a hotel with maid service, eating at restaurants and having fun, he'll be glad to come home on Sunday.
I'm thankful that although my family is crazy and has days I'd rather be away, that I know they are always right there, when I know I need them and even when I didn't know.
I am thankful for my friend Elaine, who always reminds me no matter where I've been I can head anywhere I want to.

Christmas Day

Here's the link to Christmas pictures. If it doesn't work let me know and I'll send it to you by email.
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=9715l27e.c28vazte&x=0&h=1&y=-cwmk9g

and check out youtube for some video, just go there and search lovemyabbie, should bring it up. I'll add the link here later.

all I want for Christmas

Abbie met with Santa Saturday night. She asked him for a dolly doll, some puzzles and a scooter. As luck would have it all of those things will be under the tree. The scooter is one thing that she's consistantly asked for since before Thanksgiving. I'm not sure where she saw one, but she's convinced it's what she wants, even when we show her pictures she says yes mom, that's it. So we've got the helmet ready for riding tomorrow. I'll post video if I have some time.

Rick and I were talking about Christmas over the weekend. This is only the second Christmas we'll spend away from our extended family. The first one was no fun for either of us. I had the flu and we were just homesick. This year, we are going to miss everyone and being at Grandma's Christmas Eve and Mom's Christmas day, but we are totally looking forward to waking up tomorrow with Abbie. She is TOTALLY excited and really gets it this year.

I'm working today, I'm glad to have a job, but it's no fun working today, and with how strange things have been at work lately I really didn't have much Christmas spirit, but just when I had about given up on Christmas God gave me a 3 year old. Not to remind me about the presents or stuff, but to remind me what Christmas is for, and I can't wait to spend the whole day with Rick and Abbie tomorrow doing not much at all. We are going to get movies, make home made pizza and probably stay in our jammies the majority of the day. I hope you all have a wonderful day how ever you choose to spend it.

Here are some pictures from years past. I found some old ones I'm sneaking into my calendars and scanned them last night.

top row, great great Aunt Kate, Great Grandma, Great Great Grandma

front row Grandma, me & mom

This is Molly

this is me.

Thanksgiving

Not just the day but the feeling.....

We had my parents, sister, grandmother and Rick's sister up for thanksgiving. It was really nice and everything went well. It was the first Thanksgiving Rick and I have spent together in 11 or so years, which is as long as we've been back together. Normally he goes to an RC Car race, so he was checking it on line the entire time, but he was there.

Sometimes I forget all the things I have to be thankful for and then I read something or see something happening to a friend. On another blog about what you wanted for Chrsitmas that you won't really get people were posting things like wanting their kids to get out the whiny phase, really cool cars, free gas, all sorts of wonderful things, and then someone posted she just wanted her daughters back. They'd been killed the day after Thanksgiving in an accident. I CAN NOT EVEN IMAGINE, although I know more than one family who has actually been through this. That night while we were all sleeping a friend of mine who has been trying to have a baby fo 5 years had hers. Sounds like a dream right, well not a perfect dream. She'd been in the hospital for 2 weeks already just trying to give her son as many days possible, she'd sent us all and update saying they'd hit a milestone, 23 weeks, which means if the baby came they would actually try to save him. Well that night something happened and he came and they are trying to save him. I can't even imagine what a 23 week old baby looks like. I know how long he is and weighs and all that stuff, but how fragile and tiny, I can't even make a mental picture.

So while I'm sitting in my really nice new house worrying about being short on money, listening to Abbie's cough that is left over from double ear infections, hoping that both of our paid for cars will keep running, and wondering when I should go to the grocery store I am reminded I need to stop more often and be thankful. Thankful that although we are house poor we have a warm dry safe place to sleep, thankful that although Abbie is stubborn she is healthy and had the ability to function and be stubborn, thankful that I have a ride to get to the job that pays for the groceries I'm able to buy.

It's so easy to forget all this, especially at this time of the year. We are all running around trying to get the best gift, the right size, the color they'd asked for when we need to stop and just be glad there are people in our lives, and if the color isn't perfect we'll all still have more than a lot of people.

christmas pagent

here's the songs from abbie's pagent if it works. If not I'll figure something else out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7fyxXYVAbw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tecu_Sp8nAc